Kail Malei Rachamim (a memorial tefillah) is recited on the Shabbos preceding a yahrtzeit and on a Monday or Thursday of, or preceding, the yahrtzeit (together with av harachamim, or before returning the Torah to the aron). It is also said at the kever.
A woman who has yahrtzeit may recite it privately.
Make sure to say “al kanfei haShechinah,” NOT “tachas kanfei haShechinah.”
And make sure to give the tzedakah you pledged as soon as possible.