All agree that when Erev Shabbos is Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av, one who washes every Friday with hot water, soap, and shampoo, may do so this Erev Shabbos also.
Kail Malei Rachamim (a memorial tefillah) is recited on the Shabbos preceding a yahrtzeit and on a Monday or Thursday of, or preceding, the yahrtzeit (together with av harachamim, or before returning the Torah to the aron). It is also said at the kever.
A woman who has yahrtzeit may recite it privately.
Make sure to say “al kanfei haShechinah,” NOT “tachas kanfei haShechinah.”
And make sure to give the tzedakah you pledged as soon as possible.
It is ossur to eat or drink before Havdalah (except for water). But if one ate or drank, there is no penalty and he can make havdalah. But if he (or she) forgot atta chonantanu at maariv, AND ate or drank before havdalah, the person must repeat shemoneh essraiy, saying “atta chonantanu” before making havdalah.
The Biur Halacha is unsure what the din would be if the person went ahead and made havdalah, and is now asking what to do.